Deviled eggs and the kingdom of profits
Colorado Springs — Once upon a time there was a great kingdom of deviled eggs, and profits, where all owned a home, and all were brave, and free was the word.
The eggs were valued and greatly loved. They provided food and with great invention even medicine to quell and quash threats to the land, including dire epidemics of both swine and fowl.
Eggs were good and eggs spread the wealth around. The deviled eggs provided the fair folk jobs, and profits, and more profits, and even greater profits.
With enlightened science the deviled eggs conquered great hordes of invading swine that coughed and choked. With the aid of deviled eggs, great flocks of winged vaccine arrived, in the nick of time, just as the foul breath of the swine was destroyed.
The people were somewhat worried. The people frowned. Winter was here, the people knew, but they were told and told again that all was well, that nothing was going to get them, that there was no reason for alarm, for look above, the clouds of winged vaccine are there, the star-wars defense shield, because the deviled eggs knew best.
Trust the deviled eggs.
The deviled eggs encouraged the wise health-care workers to speak and soothe the people. Tell them the truth, the deviled eggs swore, that there is no problem, that there is no reason to panic, that it is over, and all will be good.
Peace! Peace! Peace!
"The vaccine is safe!" the wise health-care workers proclaimed, and "We overcame the beasts of the field and soon shall overcome the fowls of the air, thou shalt see, we swear and pinky-promise!" The health-care workers wiggled and writhed, filled with sweaty fingers. The health-care workers seemed to be dancing, and it was a beautiful sight to see.
And it is good, the deviled eggs said.
Mannequins with magical cameras gathered at the foot of the swine corpse tower. The mannequins listened and heard what the deviled eggs said, and the mannequins accurately reported everything that channelled up from the deviled eggs into the wise health-care workers, and more profits emerged, and the economy of the kingdom was blessed, and the mannequins declared: "A ham for every family, for pork is good, indeed it is safe! Just cook it wisely!"
As a great sign, the media produced a miraculously extending proboscis, and all the people wondered at the proboscis. It was very long, they saw, and growing longer by the moment.
Incredible. Amazing.
It is good, spake the deviled eggs. It is good, repeated the wise health-care workers. It is good, returned the mannequins with the cameras, and the flocks of winged vaccine darkened the skies with their goodness.
Eggs provide the vaccine life, eggs fill the skies with syringes, winged serpents, patrolling, on guard, protecting. H1N1 is written upon the vials of the viles, and soon there will be new eggs with new syringes emerging, wtih H5N1 written upon the vials of the viles. Job security, more jobs, and more profits, it is good.
The people know it is good, that it is safe, that profits are coming, that all will be safe, all will be snug, for all is a great cycle and coughing birds with eggs and swine with runny noses and great platters of steaming meat, all of it is life, all of it is as it should be. Eggs, eggs, and eggs. Blessed deviled eggs.
The frowns disappear from all the people who listen to the reporting mannequins who channel the wise health-care workers. The people smell the cooking meat and their cell phones illuminate with great light, and they move their apps with their blessed fingers. It is good!
It is good, the people say, grinning into their cell phones, dazzled by the lights.
Plus, they can watch all the reports on their very cell phones, about the poor Tiger lost in the woods, and this is important the people know, for the deviled egg says so. Oh Twilight! Twilight of the gods.
Eggs are good and eggs spread the wealth around and deviled eggs provide the fair folk jobs, and profits, and more profits, and even greater profits. Eggs provide medicine, the vaccine emerging through the cracked shells and soaring into the sky, this great cycle of life. And the land will rebound with the wealth of profit, and eggs, and vaccines.
It is good. It is all good, and the profits of the kingdom soar on the wings of vaccines streaking like missiles, as the tower of swine corpses rises into the sky and the birds all cough, and the deviled eggs nod from their thrones, it is safe, they nod, teetering backward, the profits drawing them toward the very edge of the tower of dead pigs, just cook it good, just cook it good, and all will be well...
...and all the king's horses and all the king's men will put us back together again.
