Once upon a time, when Papa was just a little boy,
at about the age of eight years, he learned that the insect, the praying mantis, makes a pretty good pet (though they won't come when you call them, and if you let them out of the house for a bathroom break you will probably never see them again, and to the best of his knowledge no one has ever taught them tricks such as "play dead," "get the ball," or "shake hands" -- they do, however, seem to pray quite a lot). An odd-looking creature, the praying mantis is very common in Lancaster, California, and several times Dougie was witness to the great battle between the infamous Black Widow Spider, and the courageous mantis (sometimes the Black Widow wins, sometimes the Mantis), but in this case the idea occurred to Dougie, who allowed his praying mantis to climb all over his body, that such a fierce-looking creature (despite its prayerful name) could play an interesting part in a fine practical joke.
His big sister Donna was sitting on the couch watching television on their little black and white TV set in their dining room (the "dining room" was actually supposed to be a "den," but it was large enough to have a full dining room table plus a long couch, as well as a telephone table, and a full bar with two tall barstools with a large window into the kitchen), and Dougie came and sat down beside her. She was so focused on the program (possibly Bewitched, or The Andy Griffith Show, or most likely Gomer Pyle) that she didn't even acknowledge his presence.Suppressing his laughter, Dougie easily loosed his faded yellow praying mantis (this was a young specimen, probably two inches in length). Eyes bugging out, hands clasped over his mouth, Dougie sat quaking with laughter. The praying mantis was busily climbing up and down the sleeve of ten-year-old Donna's sweater. Then the mantis leaped from her sleeve onto her long hanging hair.Engrossed in her program, Donna brushed at the mantis, which was being a nuisance as it climbed her hair like a Rapunzel rope toward her head. Without knowing what she was doing, Donna brushed the praying mantis off her hair, sending the insect to her lap.Tears were streaming from Dougie's eyes. For some odd reason, this kind of thing really tickled his funny bone.The praying mantis seemed determined to scale to the very heights of Donna's head, and after being knocked into her lap it immediately scrambled up the front of her shirt, clambered up her to her very neck, vaulted over her chin, and literally danced up over her lips onto her nose, and by this time Donna was aware that something was a little different from when she usually watched her favorite TV shows -- THERE WAS A BUG ON HER FACE!Donna leaped from the couch, screaming and slapping at her face, and by this time Dougie could no longer contain his hilarity and mirth. He exploded in laughter, and Donna, standing and heaving, realized that whatever insect had invaded the pristine environment of her face, it had been loosed there by her pesky baby brother Dougie!She immediately threw herself upon him, pummeling him with her fists, and though he was quick, and had expected such an onslaught (which were quite common, especially during the Summer months), he was laughing so hard that he hardly felt the pain of the blows.The praying mantis, in the middle of the meanwhile, scampered away and was never seen again (it is actually a good thing to have a praying mantis loose in your house, as it has a certain taste for spiders and other insects). To this day, naughty boy that he still is, he can't think about the incident without snorting with laughter. And if he attempts to talk about it, the tears will start welling in his eyes (and sometimes an asthma attack looms perilously close).All Stories © 2009 Douglas Christian Larsen
important - FIGHT THE FLU WITH HERBS - important
