Once upon a time, when Papa was just a little boy,
he and his big sister Donna loved to do things that were fun, but could be considered dangerous if they were able to think with a little more mature brains. They were told, often and repeatedly, as children all over the world are told, "Do not jump on the bed!"
But what child can resist such a perfect trampoline?The trampoline they loved the most was Mama and Dada's king-sized bed, they could jump so high they could almost reach the ceiling. Always competing, they would see who could jump the highest, and of course, Donna could always best him by several inches.Dougie was probably a little older than two years of age, and Donna four years, and it is not clear who came up with the wondrous idea that not only could they bounce on the perfect trampoline, but they might even fly!Dougie would jump very high, and then from behind Donna would shove him off the bed. He would fly through the air to land crumpled on the carpet. When he discovered he was not hurt, he burst into giggles and climbed to his feet for more fun."My turn! My turn!" Donna cried.So Dougie took his place behind her and when she reached the pinnacle of her bounce, Dougie shoved her off the bed. She flew in the same trajectory as Dougie and landed unhurt upon the carpet.What a great game! Two little monkeys jumping on the bed, they both fell off but neither of them bled!Ominous music should play here. Because standing by the bathroom door stood a big, green metal waste basket, a beautiful piece of work. What made this waste basket interesting was that it was circled with spiked golden barbs, like the tops of an iron fence around a mansion, or the tops of a prison fence. Dougie called it the castle, because that is what it looked like to him.Now the waste basket was not doing anything wrong, nothing dangerous, it was merely standing its post awaiting waste, the least ominous behavior you could imagine. But there it stood, watching the two children screaming. Watching the two children bouncing.The waste basket waited, its mouth open wide, its teeth glistening golden. The waste basket was very patient.It is a proverb in the land of waste baskets, that naughty little monkeys come to patient waste baskets that wait."Push me harder!" Donna demanded. And Dougie did. She sailed further than ever. Then she came back and got behind her little brother. When he jumped, she pushed him harder than ever before.He sailed across to the waiting waste basket. It looked like a great hungry mouth. Dougie came down upon it with his forehead, directly on one of the golden spikes which drove right into the center of his forehead.Dougie rubbed his head. It hurt. He rubbed his head with both hands. Now it hurt more. He sat next to the waste basket and saw that there was red running down the golden spike. He didn't know much about blood, but he recognized it. So he took his hands away from his head and saw that both were bright red and wet with blood.He set into his loudest cry. Soon the parents arrived but not before there was a lot of blood on the wall and carpet and waste basket. The waste basket sat there innocently, it's mouth fully open.Thankfully, Dougie had a thick head. His brain wasn't pierced. It was a bad wound which produced a lot of blood. His Mama took him to the bathroom to clean him up as Dada prepared to play the role of executioner."We were just playing! We were just playing!" Donna assured them over and over again."She pushed me! Donna pushed me!" Dougie cried, even though he fully understood that his big sister never mean him harm, that in fact they were just playing, only Donna was much bigger than him and pushed much harder. These facts would later emerge, but still, the spanking she received could never be retrieved (in these cases, Dada's philosophy was that even though you were innocent in this case, there were probably a lot of undiscovered things you had done that deserved just such a spanking). Papa still has that scar on his forehead, although it has traveled somewhat higher toward his hairline (and thankfully, his hairline hasn't retreated at its advance!). All Stories © 2009 Douglas Christian Larsen
important - FIGHT THE FLU WITH HERBS - important
