The expression "dope" never quite caught on, at least not in the manner in which I'm thinking about here. Yes, "dope" first caught on as a slang expression that meant "dummy" or "fool," and then it was appropriated to describe in an apt way the drug user (and which came first, the chicken or the egg?), and also the stuff the "doper" used, the "dope." Cheaters employed "dope" to "fix" a race (either to give a horse an extra boost, so that it ran faster than a normal horse, or to ensure that it was sufficiently "doped," so that it gave a drowsy, drunken presentation). But dope has always been understood to be bad, negative, in short it was idiotic, people who destroy themselves with drugs, or who commit crimes with drugs, such people were and are dopes.
But then a subculture attempted to lift the meaning, much in which the way Michael Jackson made "good" into "bad," or as many see it, he took bad and called it bad (of course it came to mean "good" in pop culture, so when you told someone they were "bad," you were actually telling them that they were good), to suggest that something good or styling was "dope." So "Wow, you look great!" could be expressed as "Yo! You'ze dope!" And there was a certain amount of logic involved. Kind of dumb, true, but still within reason. The doper prizes his dope. So even though it is very bad, to him, the doper, it is gold. So logically, calling someone or something dope, is an insult, but in a humorous way it can sort of be a compliment. Still, dope pretty much means dope, and will always mean dope.
Lately, stoopidity has gained more power, attempting to inverse the word "sick," but as of September 2009 it still hasn't caught much fire. It is yet a media push to dumbify people, to make something stupid into something popular. Perhaps with it success in the 2008 Presidential race, the media now wishes to illustrate its power. Isn't that sick?
A Verizon commerical has a black guy sit down next to white guy and exclaim about his new Blackberry: "Whaddya think of its sick web browsing!" This of course was based on a Microsoft commercial where the guy in a "Mojave Experiment" describes Windows Vista as "SICK!" The first time I saw the commercial, I was positive Microsoft was attempting to use reverse psychology.
But I don't think there is anything "reverse" about this strategy. The media, not just the TeeVeeLand executives, but all the towering noodles in AdvertizingTown, they are making a ploy for the stupid. Hear me, oh hear me oh stupid of the land! Of course, they spell and pronounce it "stoopid." Or they add a few extra "o's" for good measure, such as "stoooopid." And they seem to be hitting the spot.
Just remember as far back as the 2008 Presidential fiasco. All sides kept using the word "folks." Obama said "us folks," and Palin said "just folks" and Biden said "we folks" and McCain said "all us folks," and the media puppets kept on saying "folks" and "folks," and even "folks." Why didn't they just say: "Hey! We want you, stupid people. Are you watching? Or is the cat distracting you? HELLO! Anyone out there...?!"
Both in movies and TeeVeeLand, more and more the characters are saying: "Sick!" And, sort of, they mean "good." In the movie "I Love You Man," the very sick real estate guy (I don't mean "sick" in a good way) entices the hero to watch a perverted viral video, and when the hero sees the filth on the screen, the sick real estate guy says: "Ain't it jess SICK?!" And the hero, not quite catching the pop use of the word, agrees, yes, it is very, very sick.
"Sick" is being pushed the same way not too long ago "My Bad?" was being screamed from every outlet imaginable. Of course with "My Bad," part of the funniness was that people kept saying it wrong, they kept saying, almost formally: "Am I bad?" Whereas the truly hep (happenin', cool, low-down wicked good hot fox fool) said "My Bad!" with an exclamation mark, not a question mark. It was sort of funny. Overdone, but funny.
But the thing of "My Bad" was that it crossed from the media push into the populace. I absolutely heard someone say it, almost every day, overheard at a store, out on the street, a coworker. Yes, it sounded stupid (as it is supposed to sound), but anyone had to admit there was a certain low-brow humor to it. Perhaps not wit, but at least a little spit.
Same thing with "wicked." People used wicked, to mean good. Dude, that is wicked! And there is a shade of reason there, as most things wicked are pleasurable. Bad, but pleasurable. If sin wasn't so much fun, it wouldn't get so much press. So when someone says "wicked," it is somewhat humorous. There is a sense. Which makes it somewhat fun to say.
But "sick," that's not funny. There is no humor there. No reason...
...well, other than the fact that our entire society — okay, more than that, our entire world — is really getting downright sick. We look to people like Michael Moore and his ludicrous "docu-drama-comedies" for some sort of reason, or even meaning. Seriously, Michael Moore? Or Bill Maher. Or even Al Franken (whose "I'm Al Franken" skit was wearing thin the very first time it was employed on Saturday Night Live). People debating "gay marriage," and Christianity obsessing with people who are debating "gay marriage," claiming every single natural disaster or tremble underfoot is somehow God's wrath regarding gay marriage.
Perhaps "stoopidity" ain't behind the push by the media, and the advertisers such as Verizon and Microsoft, to push the word, the concept of "sick," that it is good. Oh, novel influenza, that old standby, Swine Flu, you got it? Well, you ain't sick. Just eat some pork. It has vitamins in it. It's white meat, and white is so good, so right? Pork is sick. White is sick. You are sick. He is sick. That is just so sick!
Sick is good, right? You can buy that, can't you? How sick are you?
Are you super sick? Forget cool. The word, "cool," what an idea. It called to mind "cool under pressure." When others grew heated, you remained cool. Cool. Now there's a word, with a universal meaning that has stood the test of time. People were cool in the 1940s, and in the 1950s, and in the 1970s, and beyond the New Millenium, cool is the rule. 2009 cool is still cool, but does it rule? Cool. You can dig it, can't you? I knew that you could. Confidence. The confidence of cool. Cool?
We don't need no stinkin' cool, we got SICK.
The world is sick. The environment is sick. Global warming is sick. Oil is sick.
Think about it, at a recent Miss America Pageant (doesn't that just call to mind baseball, apple pie, and a big grill full of gold? what could be more American?), a slithering example of "sick" simpered at a blond contestant: "What YOU think about Gay Marriage, uh-huuuunnnnny?" And when the contestant gave back a smiling dictionary definition, she caused controversy!
Can you imagine that? It used to be enough to simper: "Peace, peace for everyone! And puppies too!" But now if you say a common sentence such as "marriage is defined as one man and one woman," it causes a controversy. That definition actually used to be part of a civil marriage ceremony in Britain, and possibly it still is. But it is a good thing the gay guy didn't ask her if boys should use boys' restrooms and girls the corresponding girls' restrooms, I mean that wouldn't be appropriate, would it? We should have the right to pick and choose which bathroom we visit, shouldn't we? I mean, I might feel like airing my feminine side on Thursday, and visit the Ladies' room, and feel more like a lumberjack on Friday, and pop in (or out) at a urinal.
What in the world was that guy doing at a Miss America pageant, anyway? Why was he asking questions of the contestants? Was it supposed to be funny? Was it supposed to be enlightening? Was it making a statement? Was it entertaining? And is he going to compete in the Miss America pageant next year?
What if I don't want to misuse the word "sick?" Does that mean I am a hate monger? Should it be made into law, that you must use the word "sick" in a positive way each and every day? Should we all carry around little electronic recording devices to prove just how diverse we are, that we can be sick just like everyone else?
What if I don't want to be sick? Can I still use the word "healthy" in the way it was intended to be used? Or does "healthy" (you might not realize this, but "healthy" is the opposite of "sick") now have to be a bad word, I mean a good word, I mean a sick word.
Global pandemic. Yeah, we have a global pandemic. Oh yeah, and the flu, too, that novel strain, the old standby Swine Flu that comes from grouping a bunch of pigs together and shoving needles up their butts to administer swine flu goo, I mean antibiotics, more and more antibiotics, so that the poor pigs won't die before they get to your table, and your drooling mouth.
Let us celebrate SICK. Yes, we are a sick, sick world, with sick mobile device providers, with sick mobile service providers, with sick politicians and sick pop media puppets, and sick religionists and sicker atheists.The world is sick. Sick is the new good. Everyone should be sick. Hey, folks is sick, us folks, jess us folks, yes we is unpretentious and unsophisticated, us folks, we is downright sick.
When are we going to wake up and realize that this is really sick?
All Stories © 2009 Douglas Christian Larsen
